Washington v. Washington

In just a few hours the Washington Football Club will host the Seattle Seahawks from the other Washington place. Both teams are named after ole George Washington the father of our country. So naturally the question is, if GW was alive which team would he be rooting for. In order to find out I went to a local medium contacted the man himself. What follows is the transcript of our conversation and his thoughts on the two teams named after him.

Perpetual Memory Loss: First question Mr. President, Washington, DC or Washington State?

George Washington:  Washington State? Where is this place and why would they name a state Washington when the district has already been bequeathed that name?

PML: Ummm It’s all the way on the other side of the continent sir, and I think they wanted to just honor you.

GW: Sounds like they are the worst sort of flatterers, like Jefferson. Why not give the state another name. I am sure they were many worthy people to name it after. Why not a Hamilton, Lafayette, or Franklin?

PML: Not sure why not but I think Washington just has a nice sound to it sir.

GW: I don’t like flatterers.

PML: Ok that’s one for the District. Next question sir, Redskins or Seahawks?

GW: What be this Seahawk?

PML: It’s a type of Osprey.

GW: Ahhh I see fearsome birds, terribly fearsome, but in the end they’re only a bird and the noble savage is quite the hunter.

PML: Ehh well we don’t call them savages anymore sir.

GW: Then what do you call them then just Redskins?

PML:  No neither, they are Native Americans.

GW: That doesn’t make any sense.

PML: Yah I know, we do a lot of things like that.

GW: Well I still don’t think those birds have any chance. Those sava… Native Americans were without ruth.

PML: Ok one more for the District, last question sir

GW: Good this is wearisome and I want to get back and kick Jefferson right in the baby maker.

PML: Hah well give him one from me too sir. Ok so like I said, last question, RGIII or Russell Wilson?

GW: What’s an RGIII?

PML: He’s the quarterback for the District’s team. It stands for Robert Griffin, III.

GW: What’s a quarterback?

PML: He’s the leader and one of the most important members of a football team.

GW: Football? You mean this is that dreadfully boring British sport? I thought we got rid of all their customs?

PML: Oh no never, no one here watches that sport, it’s a different sport entirely.

GW: Good. I like the sound of this Russell Wilson. He sounds like a nice, well-behaved English boy.

PML: Uh yeh pretty much. Ok well then thanks for your time sir, and don’t forget to give that ginger Jefferson a kick in the sack from me.

GW: Will do nice conversing with you good sir.

By a score of 2-1 the father of our country picks the team that hails from Washington, DC. We’ll know in a few short hours if he was right.


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