If I have said it once I have said it a million times YouTube is one of the biggest time vampires in my life. Sometimes I really don’t know how I get anything done at all. For instance, right now I should be wading my way through 70+ pages of notes and writing out practice essays for the big test on Friday, but instead I have been meandering my way through videos on YouTube. I just can’t help it sometimes I hit a good thread and just keep going deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. Here now are a couple of the gems that I found today (incidently I got started on this topic by finding this website that tracks TWSS comments over twitter). The first is every (almost) “That’s what she said” from The Office and the other one is some TWSS from the Star Wars trilogy. Maybe it’s just me but TWSS jokes never get old. It’s now time to go back to (or start) studying. It’s going to be hard, but I have to tear myself away from the interwebs. Enjoy.
Here is the last (for now) of Mr. Magness’ guest posts, with his best TV picks of the last year. Since I watch more TV than I do movies I will also add in a couple of my top picks at the end.
1. The Presidential Debates/Election with the Daily Show Commentary
Just like back in 2000 and 2004 Daily Show seems to cover politics the best throughout every Presidential Election. This year Jon Stewart and “The Best F*#@ing News team” would just tear any candidate a new one with great insight and impressive wit. It is great to have people like Jon Stewart around to call bullshit on everyone and anyone in the public spotlight who make fools of themselves. As a government teacher it is nice after reading and watching news all day from CNN, the Post, and our local paper to watch the Daily Show and get more truth then the rest combined. I can’t wait for 2012.
If the election had not happened this year this show would have easily been my number one new show of the year. This show is shot like the Office in documentary style and tells the story of three people at an Australian High School, Summer Heights High. Chris Lilly plays all the main characters to perfection and is the creator of the show. The characters are Mr. G (director of performing arts), Jonah (Puck you, Miss) and Ja’mie (Hot AIDS nurse). I put this show as amazing as Arrested Development and The Office on rewatchablity and just pure genius. From the moment you meet the characters you don’t even realize they are all played by the same actor. Lilly has an amazing story line and I hope we will see a lot more of him in the upcoming years.
It amazes how much I have fallen in love with this show over the course of three years. A couple years back Brooke’s brother Paul told us about this sitcom and how it was on before Two and a Half Men. Now I HATE/LOATHE Two and a Half Men and believed any show that is on near it would suck just as bad but this show has blossomed into one of the funniest and wittiest shows on TV today. I equate this to being a more modern FRIENDS type show with better story telling and better inside jokes. The story is based on a father telling his kids about the events leading up to how he met their mom but the show is much more then that. Also Peter Segal (Freaks and Geeks) and Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser) are absolutely amazing and funny. Free episodes are after the link…
These 2 shows are put together as one for a very good reason…This is the best hour of television on every week. These comedies keep getting better every year and now 30 Rock is getting the acclaim it deserves. Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan are so funny and Tina Fey has really come into her own as an actress on the show. But The Office is no slouch either when it comes to comedy brilliance. Steve Carell is still up their as one of the best around because of his performance as Michael Scott. I wish he would be able to win some more awards for his spot on impression of stupidity with heart. What makes both these shows great is that they always live up to the hype that surround them every single Thursday.
(Because I am not a big fan of Alec Baldwin I refrained from watching 30 Rock so I have to thank Mr. Magness for enriching my life by almost forcing me to watch 30 Rock with his constant praise of the show. So thanks, now it’s one of my favorite shows and I can’t believe I wasn’t watching it. And I am starting to come around on Alec Baldwin.)
5. Lost
This show will always be in my top ten because it is the best drama on television every single year. If you have already tried to watch LOST and it wasn’t for you then there is not much I can say to convince other then YOU ARE MISSING THE BEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION.PERIOD. (then why isn’t #1 you ask..because they make me wait 7 months at a time for a new season)
(I watched the first and part of the second season of this show and quit after I realized it was a pointless endeavor. In my opinion JJ Abrams is the hackiest hack in hackdom. I really hate his stuff and I refuse to watch anything that he is the creative force behind. I have so many issues with him and his shows but recounting them would take too much time and is not the topic of this post.)
I know I said this would be posted yesterday but things got in the way (drinking). However, it’s better late than never so here is Mr. Magness’ worst movies of the year. There might be some spoilers so you are forewarned.
1. Hancock
So Will Smith is officially put on notice by me. He is slowly putting out crap and we the public are acting like the movies are still decent. Take this pile shit about a superhero that doesn’t want to be a superhero. The story on paper looks great and the cast and director are all people I enjoy to see in movies but this movie was HORRIBLE! First the special effects are a joke. The CGI looks like they it was rushed and the story makes no sense whatsoever. Something about Will Smith and Charlize Theron in love for eternity but they cant be together because they make each other mortal so they fight in the middle of LA. The fact they want to make a sequel grosses me out and makes me realize Will Smith is in it for the money not for the art *P.S. Seven Pounds also sucked…what is with the damn jellyfish.*
(I completely agree with this even though I never saw the movie, because Will Smith has been dead to me for quite a while now. I always have trouble figuring out what his last good movie was.)
2. Tropic Thunder
Before you jump down my throat for this pick please hear me out. This movies joke about stars living out the movie got old..maybe 30 minutes in and we still had an hour and half left. Robert Downey Jr. was good and Danny McBride were great but the rest really did suck. The movie was so built up in my mind from everyone telling me how great it was that when I finally saw it I was unimpressed and saddened. Ben Stiller is funny but this movie is a one trick pony that tries too hard to have me care that Hollywood actors are idiots and assholes. I already knew that and I didn’t need a movie in the jungle to prove it. *P.S. Thought the Tom Cruise character was dumb and very unfunny…playa*
3. Vantage Point
So I go to this movie opening night for many reasons 1) The trailer for this movie looked great 2)Matthew Fox is in this movie 3) I can get sucked in to any thriller that looks half way decent. Sadly all these reasons were unjustified and we ended up watching a dumb predictable movie that was not entertaining, smart or even close to being a good movie. So Matthew Fox ends up being the secret bad guy who wants to kill the President and Dennis Quaid brings him down. There I just ruined a bad movie for you so you have no reason to see it. And I don’t feel sorry because you should be thanking me for saving 2 hours of your life. *P.S. Your Welcome*
Ok, I have been a bit remiss in blogging lately. I am trying to motivate myself for this last semester of school, studying for my comprehensive exams, looking for work and a job, and blogging. Unfortunately blogging has taken a bit of a hit lately, but hopefully I get in the groove soon and figure out how to balance everything out. That being said I am also pretty terrible at writing any type of favorite or year end lists, which brings me to this post. This is the first ever–and hopefully not the last–guest post. This is the first in a series of four favorite lists composed by Mr. Magness. Today’s list is Top 10 movies of 2008 (and spare me the whole “it’s too late for that it’s already February crap.” I’m a habitual procrastinator so deal with it, plus it’s better late than never). Seeing as how I rarely ever see movies in theaters (and the fact that I hate writing lists) I am ill-equipped to write up a list like this and defer to the knowledge and experience of Mr. Magness:
Mr. Magness
Another year and another drawn out list of my favorite movies, TV and books. Hopefully everyone enjoys it and hopefully this will spark some lively debate at home and through email. I have included the links to all the trailers for the best movies and television that I thought were great. If you pay close attention you will find 2, count them, 2 Sean William Scott movies in my top ten of the year. And the winners (OF NOTHING) are….
10. Burn After Reading
The new masterpiece from the Coen brothers was overlooked by critics but I think it is one of the best Coen brothers movies up there with Raising Arizona, Big Lebowski, and O’ Brother. It is amazing watching Clooney and Pitt dressed up and acting like such normal men and being able to act like such idiots and douches at the same time in this film. The characters that are in this movie perfectly embrace what it is to be the new version of an American moron. The whole movie revolves around a CD full of nothing and the desire for plastic surgery. It is very funny and is easily one of the best films of the year. http://www.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/burnafterreading/
9. The Foot Fist Way
Danny McBride is the future of comedy and this movie should of launched his career but sadly not many people saw this little film. This movie is a story of an overweight Tae Kwon Do instructor in Minnesota. Not laughing yet…the main character is one of the most ridiculous humans alive and it follows his sad life even though he thinks his life is just Awesome!!!! Luckily Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and Judd Apatow saw this film and put McBride in Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express (he was the best part of both movies). This has the humor of Napoleon Dynamite but of the R rated variety. Easily a movie that will become a cult hit and be quotable for years to come. http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount_vantage/thefootfistway/
8. The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
The second best love story of the year and easily the most beautifully filmed movie of the year. This movie tells the story of a man who ages backwards and the struggles that come with any lifetime. This movie is a surprise from director David Fincher (Fight Club, Seven, last years Magness top ten Zodiac) but really captures everything that is pure and great concerning a love story. the film is almost 3 hours in running time but feels like it just flies by. Brad Pitt is good as Benjamin but his mom played by Tarjie Henson is absolutely amazing and she is well deserving of an Academy Award nomination. This movie leaves a Forrest Gump feeling in your heart by having us feel grateful we were able to take Button’s journey along side him. http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/thecuriouscaseofbenjaminbutton/
7. Frost/Nixon
Watching this movie by Ron Howard I was amazed how a simple interview could lead to such an intense political thriller. The movie is based around the interviews President Nixon had with David Frost a British journalist. Now the key word is BASED because it is not all fact but it sure makes for a great movie. The best parts are the interviews between Frank Langella (Nixon) and Michael Sheen (Frost) because of their chemistry and the noticeable tension that is built between them throughout the course of the film. It is well deserving of a Best Picture nod and is easily one of Ron Howard’s best movies. http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/frostnixon/
6. Slumdog Millionaire
The best love story of the year goes to this movie simply because I have never seen a movie quite like this movie. Who knew you could make such an intense, beautiful, devastating and romantic movie based around Who Wants to be a Millionaire? The story is told in flashbacks as a “slumdog” is answering questions on the game show. Every question is realized through the tragic events of the main characters life. Danny Boyle the director (Trainspotting, The Island) brings India to life in ways I have never seen before and really brings out the beauty that can be found any and everywhere. This movie is nominated for 10 Academy Awards and has a great chance of being this years Best Picture. http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/slumdogmillionaire/
Some things are just meant to be together, like peanut butter & jelly or peanut butter & chocolate (damn why is peanut butter so darn good). I have always been a big fan of drinking profusely and I have always been a big fan of history, and even though at times I have mixed the two, I have never actually thought of recording said conversations. So a big thank you to Sara for texting me to inform me of these skits, which combine two of my favorite things, and also fits in perfectly with the theme of this blog. This is just one more great combo in life that was meant to be. Maybe one of these days I’ll get my own episode and I’ll give them a drunken lecture on some random historical event (seriously Pacificus/Helvidius debates are still fresh in my mind and I could wax about it drunk no problem). Now enjoy Drunk History.
Merry Christmas to everyone out there on the internets. In keeping with the spirit of the season I have compiled some of my favorite videos to help bring joy to you. So your welcome.
First up is one of my all-time favorite Christmas cartoons: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It’s the greatest although the ending is a bit weak. I would have liked to see the Grinch stay grinchy instead of turning into a bit fat sap, but, oh well, nothing is perfect although this cartoon comes close. I have to admit that the Grinch taught me a lot about the spirit of the season. Thanks Grinch.
Next up is some clips from Red Sleigh Down, one of the funnier South Park episodes. Money line: “This is Baghdad God what a shit hole, I mean, oh wow these poor unfortunate people.” Full episode here.
A wise man once said “Marty, if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything.” Those wise words were my guide today when I embarked on my latest Herculean effort: watching the Star Wars Holiday Special. I had always heard the stories about this epically terrible show, and I thought that I would never get the chance to see it. However, this afternoon when I woke up from my beer induced coma, I hopped on my computer to see what was new in the world. One of my stops was Lady VoIP’s newest blog entry, in which she talked about a virtual Christmas. One of the links she posted caught my eye as it was a site that had 101 Christmas videos. Like a lightning bolt to the brain I immediately thought that there was no way they could have that many videos and not have the Star Wars Holiday Special, and as it turned out #100 was my lucky number.
WTF???
I really couldn’t believe my luck there it was–the missing link. I had to see it and since it was snowing outside I decided that there was no time like the present. To be fair I knew it was supposed to be bad I just didn’t know how bad it was going to be. The first ten minutes of the show was so mind-numbingly excruciating that I had to stop watching and take a break. How bad was it? Ten minutes of watching an inside glimpse of the everyday occurrences of your typical Wookie family. While that was bad enough the make-up, special effects, and really every aspect of it was of the absolute worst quality. It also looked like they scavenged some of the terrible footage that went unused from A New Hope, and some clips looked like they were taken directly from the ANH and reused. On top of all this there was no talking for ten minutes, unless you can call RRRWWWWGGGRR RAAAAWRRR GRRRAAAWWWWRRGG talking. This was the first time I thought about giving up, but the wise words of George McFly helped me to continue on, and thank god I kept going otherwise I would have missed out on all of the greatness that was awaiting me.
Where's The Zipper?
For the entirety of the show I was unable to watch more than fifteen minutes without taking some kind of break to keep my brain from leaking out of my ears. I can’t even put into words how much of an abomination this show is. Let me see if I can attempt to explain how terrible it was. First off the story is dreadful and I’m not even sure what the fuck the story is. It has something to do with Chewbacca going home, and with some talisman that we only see for about ten seconds, and then it becomes irrelevant. Nothing made sense throughout though because the structure and presentation was god-awful. It seems like in every scene they only did one take, and no matter how bad it was they kept it. It’s about now where you are probably asking “why the fuck did you keep watching then?” I will tell you why. You know how some movies are so bad that they transcend their badness and become good? Well that’s not this show at all; it is in an entirely different stratosphere. It is soo bad that it is hysterical. I laughed so freaking hard I drooled on myself. This hilarity comes with a price though–namely retardation. Seriously my brain still feels addled and it has been hours since I finished watching it.
Back Off Sukka!!
One of the only redeeming factors of the whole thing was the cartoon that just abruptly shows up in the middle of the show, and like the show it doesn’t really make much sense but the significance of the cartoon is that it is the first appearance of Boba Fett. Despite the absurdity of this show somehow Boba Fett still retains a modicum of coolness. Another highly hilarious moment was when Chewbacca’s kid, Lumpy (seriously who the fuck thought of that name), starts crying. After watching that scene I couldn’t stop laughing for about ten minutes. Some of the most heinous parts of the show include their attempts to bring “celebrities” into the show via some weird TV like thing. I could have done without Bea Arthur, Jefferson Starshit, or that stupid stupid cooking show. Seriously my mind is still spinning from the incomprehensibility of the whole show. As bad as it was I feel like I accomplished something by sticking with it and watching the whole entire thing. It’s like some zen thing where you cleanse your mind by enduring trials and tribulations. That’s how I feel now, and also half-retarded but maybe that’s just part of the zen experience. So with all that being said go watch it–if you dare. If you can make it through the first ten minutes then you should be impressed with your mental resolve. It’s seriously a once in a lifetime experience. On a side note I want whatever drugs George Lucas was on when he agreed on the creation of this Frankenstein.
In honor of the Governor’s hair-brained scheme to put taxes on iTunes downloads (and possibly other DLC), and a host of other dumb taxes, I am posting this SNL skit about him. I mean there is a $15.4 billion budget gap. So raising taxes on small stuff like digital content and soda is a bit like McCain’s claims that if we vetoed all ear-marks we would magically have a budget surplus. 15.4 billion is a big number and means that there is inefficiency in your government, so fix that shit first, and that most (if not all) of the gap is going to have to be made up with broad reforms to the way things are done on a daily basis in government. Proposals like this just piss people off because they know that instead of looking in the mirror you are just trying to squeeze some more money out of everyday people. One more thing if you appoint Caroline Kennedy as Hillary’s replacement then you should be impeached, because she has the same amount of experience as Sarah Palin.
Updated – 4:38
Ok here is a commentary from Paterson explaining why he wants to raise taxes on sugary drinks. Basically it boils down to taxing a substance like soda in the hopes of preventing people from drinking an excess of soda, and hopefully to curb the rising rates of childhood obesity. Now in theory I shouldn’t care because I rarely ever drink soda, but I do have a huge problem with this. This is just another instance of the government stepping in and taking on a role that does not belong to them. Since when is it the governments job to tell people what to eat and drink. It takes away the responsibilty from the parents and essentially absovles them of being shitty parents. The government should be finding a way to put responsibility and blame back on the parents instead of taking more upon itself.
Another point I want to make is the taxing of iTunes and possibly other digital downloads. This is a terrible idea also because the government and corporations have been fighting to get digital piracy under control, and they have been making success over the last few years–specifically with iTunes. However, start throwing extra taxes on these legitimate downloads and it will have the same effect as the Coercive and Townshend Acts did, namely drive people back to piracy. Dumb ideas, government needs to look in the mirror and start trimming the fat off of some of their programs, and they need to modernize and get hip with the digital age.
Once again one of my comments is going to be the headline contest over at Overheard in New York. If you didn’t win last time you should give it a go this time. Anyways here’s the quote:
Student #1: I don’t know why that bitch has such a big ego, she’s fucking ugly. Student #2: Yeah, I know, but she thinks she’s Paris Hilton or some shit. Student #1: She’s probably getting fucked by some loser.
There you have it funny stuff; now go on over to the contest page and give it your best shot. Contest ends on Thursday.
I was supposed to be working on finishing up my paper today that is due on the 11th (which should be a day off, but don’t get me started on that one). Instead, however, I have been hanging out with my old friend procrastination. This afternoon I spent a few hours playing Gears of War 2, and then I went for a walk grabbed a couple slices of pizza. Lately I’ve been hanging out on the Internet looking at random shirts like this one. I have also spent way too much time on YouTube watching videos like this one:
I’m not sure what it is about monkeys or idiots hurting themselves, but damn do I enjoy watching them. So much so that I’ve wasted hours watching random videos of monkeys doing all manner of silly shit. The best part about monkeys is they don’t even have to be doing anything crazy, just watching monkeys on the Discovery channel cracks me up. Monkeys, midgets, and Japanese game shows always make me laugh, and YouTube has a plethora of hilarious videos to keep me occupied and help me procrastinate. Well time for another Rockstar, and then, hopefully, I will be able to get some work done, after I finish watching Saving Private Ryan that is.
