Last night I rewatchedAkira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, and I was reminded about how awesome samurai movies are when done right–sometimes even if they are done really wrong. It gave me the idea to write about one of my absolute favorite samurai movies. When I first heard of this movie, many moons ago, it was spoken of in hushed tones. It was supposedly so awesome that upon viewing it there was a chance that your face would melt like the asian dude from Raiders. No one we knew had, or even knew of where to get a copy of it, but we luckily had the first few minutes on a beat ass warped VHS tape. After the first few minutes, however, the picture would turn to mush and all that was left was to be teased with sounds of slicin’ and dicin’.
I was completely sold after watching the short intro, and I made it my mission to find this video. Over the next few weeks the intro to the movie played through my mind like a familiar melody. It was like having a song stuck in your head and yet not knowing which song it is. But no matter where you go you hear snippets of music that bring it back to the forefront of your mind and hopefully closer to recognition. Everywhere I went I could hear it playing, but it was an incomplete tune. For the sake of my sanity I had to find this movie, and let the full melody of samurai savagery be unleashed. After weeks of procuring small second hand stores, retail outlets, and garage sales, I finally found someone that could order me one, but it would be expensive. Was it worth it? There was only one way to find out. I had to complete my quest pick-up the wooden carpenter’s cup and take a drink (if you’re counting that makes two Indiana Jones references in one post).
A few long weeks later my copy came in and we all decided to make an event of it. We bought beer, food, and then crowded around our TV like the first cavemen upon encountering a fire sent down by the gods in the form of lightning. Could this movie live up to the incredible hype that we had created around it? Of course it could, but would it? This movie, Shogun Assassin, melted my brain with its sheer awesomeness. One of the greatest martial arts or samurai movies ever created. Our brains quivered, heaved, and spasmed as OgamiItto embarked on his quest for revenge with his toddler son strapped to his back. Facing the Masters of Death, ninjas, and countless hordes of samurai all with his son on his back completely unscathed or fazed by the danger (in fact the movie is narrated by his son). All enemies were mere sword fodder for Itto. His skills were unmatched, his form flawless.
This movie is a definite must see if you like good movies that don’t bore the shit out of you. If you haven’t seen it you may have heard it before. The movie inspired Quentin Tarantino, and can be heard in Kill Bill 2 during the scene where Beatrix puts her kid to sleep. Luckily you won’t have to go on some arduous trek to find this movie. Thanks to the conveniences of modern technology I found it on YouTube in about thirty seconds. It is only the first 10 minutes, but it will give you a taste of this movies greatness. I’m sure there is a digital copy out there somewhere. If someone finds it let me know. This movie is best seen with friends, alcohol, and on a real TV, but its greatness is in no way diminished by watching it on the computer:
It’s been around 24 hours since I have seen Avatar. I have let it percolate in my head and I have also had the chance to to hash out some of my thoughts with fellow geeks. What follows will be spoiler heavy so if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t wish to know anything then stop reading.
First I’ll start with my gripes.
One of the biggest annoyances in the movie was the lack of any character development for the villains. They were all just evil dudes who were bent on destruction no matter the cost. In the case of Col. Quaritch he was just a Marine that was hell bent on kicking ass and killing whomever, or whatever, was in his way. Understandable but he was like a person devoid of any human emotions who seemed to hate the Na’Vi for no apparent reason. If he was the only person in the movie like that I would let it slide. However, virtually all the Marines (except for two) in the movie were also one-dimensional characters devoid of any moral compass or any semblance of a human emotion. I find it hard to believe that out of the thousands of people there 99.9% of them were completely on board with massacreing the aliens just because they wanted to get some unobtainium (stupid name btw). Besides I don’t think there is a need for anymore stereotyping of Marines as crazy, evil whack-a-doos. There was just too much black and white in the movie, and rarely were there any shades of grey–morally speaking.
Secondly, I get the whole allusions to slavery and the plight of the American Indians, but it was a bit much. Actually it wasn’t even an allusion it was pretty much a straight up comparison to the westward expansion of the United States. The unobtainium is gold, and the Marines are the evil frontiersman who murdered and pillaged their way across the west. Now is not the time for a moral or historical debate about that time period. What bugged me was the ham-fisted attempt to wed that time period with the modern one. Throwing in phrases like “shock and awe” and “fight terror with terror” took me out of the movie momentarily. I get it you’re against the Iraq War, slavery, and westward expansion. Good to know, but unfortunately it was all shoe-horned into the story. Plus there are other movies that have done a better job with those themes–namely Return of the Jedi. The ending of both movies is basically the same. The peace loving simple people defeat the technologically superior, but moralistically inferior people–except in Avatar there is the added element of a Deity that interjects and helps out.
Ok now you may think that with all that griping and complaining that I hated the movie, but if you thought that you’d be wrong. Watching this movie I got the same feeling I got when I watched Jurassic Park, Star Wars, or Terminator 2. This movie is a game-changer. All the work that was done by ILM over the years in creating digital sets and characters was put to spectacular use in Avatar. The interaction movie is virtually seamless in blending all the real with the digital. Watching this movie totally blew my mind. (And despite my gripes with the story, the story was actually pretty good. There is a decent and simple plot line to follow, there’s a bit of a love story, and there are some moral themes that could have been powerful if I wasn’t beaten over the head with them.) The 3D was great because it wasn’t a gimmick. The characters weren’t breaking the fourth wall trying to engage the audience. There wasn’t an overabundance of spears, vehicles, or whatever coming directly at the camera. Instead the 3D was used as a way to create a more immersive environment. Pandora felt more real. There was more depth to the world, and this helped to draw you in. This is how these technologies were meant to be used. I finish by restating what I’ve already said. The movie is a game changer, and it must be seen in 3D. This movie should become a blueprint for how 3D and CGI should be used to create new immersive worlds. If it does and other directors keep improving it then there should be a lot of exciting movies in the future. It’ll be amazing to see where this all leads too. So if I was going to give this movie a grade I would say it’s a solid 95%, so go see it now.
Today I drug myself to my computer to begin the process of writing more cover letters and to scour the internet for more jobs. It never happened though because I made myself a pot of coffee and turned on the TV and as I was searching around I saw that G4 was having their E3 coverage. Some days it is down right fantastic to be a nerd and today was one of those days. I spent the better part of the day watching Microsoft’s XBOX 360 E3 presentation. It was two hours chalk full of surprises that whetted my appetite for the fall releases. So for those of you that are gainfully employed here are some of my favorites (in no particular order).
The Beatles Rock Band–even though I generally suck at Rock Band I will think about getting this game just because it looks great and I love The Beatles. Besides how cool would it be to play Drive My Car in Shea Stadium in front of 50,000 screaming fans?
Modern Warfare 2–the first Modern Warfare was awesome and I didn’t even explore the multi-player features, a mistake I won’t make again. It looks like Infinity Ward upped the ante on this version and the level displayed at E3 looked great–especially when you get to drive and fight on a snowmobile, which had a Bond feel to it. The 360 version will also have two exclusive map packs.
Halo: ODST–Bungie is one of those developers that I will pretty much buy anything they make because they are one of the best out there. The fact that this is a new Halo game, which plays differently than previous incarnations, and you can count me hyped and excited to play this game. Also Bungie teased a prequel to the Halo series entitled Halo: Reach.
If I have said it once I have said it a million times YouTube is one of the biggest time vampires in my life. Sometimes I really don’t know how I get anything done at all. For instance, right now I should be wading my way through 70+ pages of notes and writing out practice essays for the big test on Friday, but instead I have been meandering my way through videos on YouTube. I just can’t help it sometimes I hit a good thread and just keep going deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. Here now are a couple of the gems that I found today (incidently I got started on this topic by finding this website that tracks TWSS comments over twitter). The first is every (almost) “That’s what she said” from The Office and the other one is some TWSS from the Star Wars trilogy. Maybe it’s just me but TWSS jokes never get old. It’s now time to go back to (or start) studying. It’s going to be hard, but I have to tear myself away from the interwebs. Enjoy.
HBO has had quite a few shows lately dealing with the war in Iraq, and they have all been well done and even-handed. Taking Chance is the newest HBO film that revolves around the Iraq war, and like the others it is non-political and just tells the true story of one Marine escorting another Marine home. I don’t want to try and deconstruct this film like some film nerd, instead I will just say that it is well worth your time. I watched it last night–instead of the craptastic Oscars–and it was an emotional movie. If you can watch this film without tearing up then you must not have a soul or maybe you’re just a cynical hippie (or both). Anyways watch the trailer then check it out:
I know I said this would be posted yesterday but things got in the way (drinking). However, it’s better late than never so here is Mr. Magness’ worst movies of the year. There might be some spoilers so you are forewarned.
1. Hancock
So Will Smith is officially put on notice by me. He is slowly putting out crap and we the public are acting like the movies are still decent. Take this pile shit about a superhero that doesn’t want to be a superhero. The story on paper looks great and the cast and director are all people I enjoy to see in movies but this movie was HORRIBLE! First the special effects are a joke. The CGI looks like they it was rushed and the story makes no sense whatsoever. Something about Will Smith and Charlize Theron in love for eternity but they cant be together because they make each other mortal so they fight in the middle of LA. The fact they want to make a sequel grosses me out and makes me realize Will Smith is in it for the money not for the art *P.S. Seven Pounds also sucked…what is with the damn jellyfish.*
(I completely agree with this even though I never saw the movie, because Will Smith has been dead to me for quite a while now. I always have trouble figuring out what his last good movie was.)
2. Tropic Thunder
Before you jump down my throat for this pick please hear me out. This movies joke about stars living out the movie got old..maybe 30 minutes in and we still had an hour and half left. Robert Downey Jr. was good and Danny McBride were great but the rest really did suck. The movie was so built up in my mind from everyone telling me how great it was that when I finally saw it I was unimpressed and saddened. Ben Stiller is funny but this movie is a one trick pony that tries too hard to have me care that Hollywood actors are idiots and assholes. I already knew that and I didn’t need a movie in the jungle to prove it. *P.S. Thought the Tom Cruise character was dumb and very unfunny…playa*
3. Vantage Point
So I go to this movie opening night for many reasons 1) The trailer for this movie looked great 2)Matthew Fox is in this movie 3) I can get sucked in to any thriller that looks half way decent. Sadly all these reasons were unjustified and we ended up watching a dumb predictable movie that was not entertaining, smart or even close to being a good movie. So Matthew Fox ends up being the secret bad guy who wants to kill the President and Dennis Quaid brings him down. There I just ruined a bad movie for you so you have no reason to see it. And I don’t feel sorry because you should be thanking me for saving 2 hours of your life. *P.S. Your Welcome*
Ok, I have been a bit remiss in blogging lately. I am trying to motivate myself for this last semester of school, studying for my comprehensive exams, looking for work and a job, and blogging. Unfortunately blogging has taken a bit of a hit lately, but hopefully I get in the groove soon and figure out how to balance everything out. That being said I am also pretty terrible at writing any type of favorite or year end lists, which brings me to this post. This is the first ever–and hopefully not the last–guest post. This is the first in a series of four favorite lists composed by Mr. Magness. Today’s list is Top 10 movies of 2008 (and spare me the whole “it’s too late for that it’s already February crap.” I’m a habitual procrastinator so deal with it, plus it’s better late than never). Seeing as how I rarely ever see movies in theaters (and the fact that I hate writing lists) I am ill-equipped to write up a list like this and defer to the knowledge and experience of Mr. Magness:
Mr. Magness
Another year and another drawn out list of my favorite movies, TV and books. Hopefully everyone enjoys it and hopefully this will spark some lively debate at home and through email. I have included the links to all the trailers for the best movies and television that I thought were great. If you pay close attention you will find 2, count them, 2 Sean William Scott movies in my top ten of the year. And the winners (OF NOTHING) are….
10. Burn After Reading
The new masterpiece from the Coen brothers was overlooked by critics but I think it is one of the best Coen brothers movies up there with Raising Arizona, Big Lebowski, and O’ Brother. It is amazing watching Clooney and Pitt dressed up and acting like such normal men and being able to act like such idiots and douches at the same time in this film. The characters that are in this movie perfectly embrace what it is to be the new version of an American moron. The whole movie revolves around a CD full of nothing and the desire for plastic surgery. It is very funny and is easily one of the best films of the year. http://www.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/burnafterreading/
9. The Foot Fist Way
Danny McBride is the future of comedy and this movie should of launched his career but sadly not many people saw this little film. This movie is a story of an overweight Tae Kwon Do instructor in Minnesota. Not laughing yet…the main character is one of the most ridiculous humans alive and it follows his sad life even though he thinks his life is just Awesome!!!! Luckily Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and Judd Apatow saw this film and put McBride in Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express (he was the best part of both movies). This has the humor of Napoleon Dynamite but of the R rated variety. Easily a movie that will become a cult hit and be quotable for years to come. http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount_vantage/thefootfistway/
8. The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
The second best love story of the year and easily the most beautifully filmed movie of the year. This movie tells the story of a man who ages backwards and the struggles that come with any lifetime. This movie is a surprise from director David Fincher (Fight Club, Seven, last years Magness top ten Zodiac) but really captures everything that is pure and great concerning a love story. the film is almost 3 hours in running time but feels like it just flies by. Brad Pitt is good as Benjamin but his mom played by Tarjie Henson is absolutely amazing and she is well deserving of an Academy Award nomination. This movie leaves a Forrest Gump feeling in your heart by having us feel grateful we were able to take Button’s journey along side him. http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/thecuriouscaseofbenjaminbutton/
7. Frost/Nixon
Watching this movie by Ron Howard I was amazed how a simple interview could lead to such an intense political thriller. The movie is based around the interviews President Nixon had with David Frost a British journalist. Now the key word is BASED because it is not all fact but it sure makes for a great movie. The best parts are the interviews between Frank Langella (Nixon) and Michael Sheen (Frost) because of their chemistry and the noticeable tension that is built between them throughout the course of the film. It is well deserving of a Best Picture nod and is easily one of Ron Howard’s best movies. http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/frostnixon/
6. Slumdog Millionaire
The best love story of the year goes to this movie simply because I have never seen a movie quite like this movie. Who knew you could make such an intense, beautiful, devastating and romantic movie based around Who Wants to be a Millionaire? The story is told in flashbacks as a “slumdog” is answering questions on the game show. Every question is realized through the tragic events of the main characters life. Danny Boyle the director (Trainspotting, The Island) brings India to life in ways I have never seen before and really brings out the beauty that can be found any and everywhere. This movie is nominated for 10 Academy Awards and has a great chance of being this years Best Picture. http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/slumdogmillionaire/
I’m not ashamed to admit that I have a few man-crushes. One of my man-crushes is for Clint Eastwood. I love all the old spaghetti westerns, the non-spaghetti westerns, and pretty much everything else he’s done. Some of my all time fave’s are The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Hang ‘Em High, Unforgiven, and Dirty Harry–although if any his westerns are on I’ll watch them. He has also directed some great, touching movies. Last years Flags of Our Father’s and Letters From Iwo Jima were amazing, and some of his best, imo, work. Now I’ll probably get around to seeing the Changeling even though I don’t like Jolie, but this December is the movie that I’m excited for. It’s called Gran Torino, and it looks fucking wicked. Check out the trailer below or if you really want to get the full experience check it out on Quicktime HD.
Here is the trailer for Kevin Smith’s new movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Personally I’m a big fan of Kevin Smith. I thought Clerks 2 was his best movie. It seemed like he was able to turn a corner, in Clerks 2, as a writer/director. He was able to blend the crude dialouge, he is known for, with a romantic sentimentality much better than in his previous movies. It also didn’t hurt that Rosario Dawson is pure awesomeness. Anyways here is the redband trailer for Zack and Miri.
So I finally got around to seeing The Dark Knight the other day, and I’m not going to bore you with another cookie-cutter review. Besides this movie is all over the news, and it’s making money hand over fist, so you have to be living under a rock, under another rock, to not know that this movie is great. What I do want to talk about is how solid this movie was from top to bottom, and some of the themes that were weaved in that really impressed me. You can take any movie that has come out this year–whether a dramatic, action, or otherwise–and The Dark Knight will match up to any of them.
This has to be one of the top comic book movies that has ever been made, and I think what surprised me the most was how deep the movie ended up being. Comics have always been fairly deep, and have always been a form of social commentary. As of late this has been translated into the movies better. From here on out I’m going to talk about some of the specifics of the movie so if you haven’t seen it then don’t make the jump.
