It all started…

I have always been fairly open on this site writing about my life and occurrences that happen to me–whether good or bad–and that will continue. Beware this post is only for those of you who like drama. So the latest drama-rama to come into my life happened yesterday and it all started with a self-deprecating facebook post:

Sometimes I amaze myself with my nerdiness.

It seems innocent enough and I totally though it was. However it was an impetus for all that was to come. What happened next was completely unexpected. My brother’s ex commented thusly:

…we are all amazed by it! XO ***** takes after you so much. You have no idea how much!!

I replied that yes I did teach that person a lot about how to be a nerd to which she responded:

Yes you did…you really did. She LOVEs you with all of her perfect heart. I have HUNDREDS of cards, drawings, paintings, and many many more things she has made with such care for her Uncle *****. It will be so much fun going through all that some day. Let us know next time your in town, we would love to take you nerds to dinnner.
Of course I said that I would love to check out all the stuff made for me and go out to dinner. At this point things still seem perfectly on the level to me and most rational minds. Then I get this comment from my brother’s wife:
Dinner with his ex?
Now at this point I feel that there may be something more in this statement but as I have nothing to hide I reply:
Sure why wouldn’t I go to dinner with her and ****?
It was at this point where the train completely derailed:
hmmmm.. I wonder! I guess your brother doesn’t mean very much to you.
How? Why? Because I’m civil to someone that happens to be the mother of my niece? Of course I continue to be a smart ass:
Haha well I guess it’s a good thing I have you around to tell me what I feel, btw nice try with the guilt trip.
And the coup de grace:
I guess I know now what kind of person you REALLY are!
Ouch that was seriously a low blow and one that was definitely meant to enable the severance of relations. After this it went nuclear over email, her first:
I just thought that your brother meant something to you. Obviously you don’t remember all the things that happened. I can see why **** feels like he doesn’t have a family except for the girls and me. That’s too bad. My brother recently got divorced for the same reasons and I would never in a million years have a relationship with her. I see my niece and nephew through my brother, not his ex. It is just messed up.
 
Omg dramatic much. Don’t even pretend to tell me how I feel about my brother or my family because you are clueless to that fact. And I didn’t realize I had to get my contact list approved by both of you. If you have a problem with me talking to her tough shit. If matt has a problem with it he can talk to me. Otherwise I’m just not going to allow you to dictate who I talk to or how I “supposedly” feel about ****. And on last thing ***** don’t you ever fucking presume you know what type of person I am because you have no idea.

Okay, first of all, I am pretty sure I know exactly the type of person you are. Secondly, I am not trying to DICTATE to you who you can and can not talk to. There is a code on how you should treat your family members. The way **** is being treated by you and your family is ridiculous and it shows how you view **** as a brother. **** always told me stories about the loyalty that you guys as a family had, and I absolutely do not see it AT ALL! Family doesn’t treat family this way. I am not pretending to know how you feel about your brother, from this point of view it sure as hell looks like you don’t think much of him. I hope this is not true and I hope you and him remain close. I just think maybe you should look at it from another persons point of view, or are you too good to do that?

Well don’t act like you’re the only one that cares about ****. I do too but I also live my life how I choose and I don’t need anyone to look down their nose at me and the choices I make.
 
Well, that’s fine, but you may loose family over choices. There are consequences for the way you treat someone. So, I guess if you having a relationship with your brother’s ex wife is more important, that is your choice to make and I can’t say or do anything about it. But it is also my choice not to have people like that in my life. As far as I go, I would rather not talk to you. **** on the other had, I don’t know how he feels, he can make his own choices.
 
Wow it’s amazing how it went from me being civil to someone to now I’m having a relationship with her. I had no idea it was that serious between us. How about you quit acting like a child and judging everyone? If you don’t want to talk to me over something so trivial that’s fine. I don’t need such petty childish people in my life. And I still haven’t heard anything from my brother so I wonder why the fuck you are instigating and trying to drive a wedge between us? Do you get off on creating soap opera like drama? Maybe you should find a more productive and life affirming hobby.
 
Whatever. You just keep convincing yourself of your perfectness. **** will make his own decision and I speak up for what I believe in.
 
Wow I can’t believe you unfriended me that’s really lame but whatever. Look I don’t know why everything has to be black and white for you. Just because I’m civil to her does not mean I’m disloyal to my brother it just means that I don’t feel like carrying a grudge agaisnt her for my whole entire life, and here you are creating even more problems by making a big deal out of the fact that I’m nice to her. I don’t know what your deal is and why you feel that you have to push people away because of that. It probably has more to do with your own insecurities than anything else. I will always love my brother and will always be loyal to him but I’m not going to spend my whole life being bitter about something that happened a long time ago, and quite frankly it’s between them and not me. So here we are now with you acting all immature about this and trying to drive a wedge between ****and me. We are left with a few choices either you grow up and we all move on, you pretend this never happened and we go our seperate ways, or you talk to **** about this and ge gets in touch with me. Unless he has recently been struck deaf, dumb, blind, and mute I expect to hear from him on this. I’m done arguing with you over something so inane via email. I hope for all the best for you all but I won’t be responding to anymore of your emails. Like I said if **** has a problem with this I should hear it from him and not you.
Hey, if I overstepped my bounds, I am sorry. I just care so deeply about **** and I really hate seeing him get hurt, it kills me. 

 SO I’m not sure what the whole point of this exercise has been except for hoping that one of my 3 readers may have some insight to help me out or maybe tell me how I could’ve proceeded differently. Who knows at this point if I will ever talk to my brother again considering that the succubus now controls or has access to all modes of communication with him. All I know is I’m drinking a lot this weekend.

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5 Responses to “It all started…”

  • Amanda Says:

    OMG!?!?! Overreact much??? WOW… It seems like that conversation never needed to happen. A lot of projecting onto you over something that may or may not even happen. But this is a good example of how something electronic and as impersonal as a facebook status can be misinterpreted. But I guess I know what kind of person you REALLY are now Dan! (but I guess I’ve always known you’re habitually sarcastic and loyal!)

  • fabes Says:

    i hate drama like that with family! you didnt do anything wrong like you said shes the mother of your niece and your were just being nice all i say is you talk to your bro about it. its between you and him…

  • sensico Says:

    lmao, this issue is so weird. My moms sister and her husband hang around my dad every bluemoon and no one gets angry. Thanks for reaffirming my belief that family should not follow each other on facebook lol.

    I don’t think your brother would get mad, guys aren’t really like that, don’t care. If he does get mad it’s cause he has to live with his wife. Who in this case looks jealous. Maybe she would rather you hangout with her rather then the ex-wife.

    I don’t have any advice other then see what your brother says, then remove all family from your FB profile, and then go to dinner with your niece and his ex-wife. And at dinner complain about all this to her so you two can laugh and find common ground lol
    sensico´s last blog ..Boehner Admits Republicans Have No Health Care Alternative Plan My ComLuv Profile

  • Philippe C. (aka reader #3) Says:

    Dan, you are right on the money. What it boils down, at least for me, is your niece. She obviously adores you and would love to see you. If you didn’t see your niece because of her mother how would that reflect on you, her, and adults in general? I’m a firm believer in people putting aside their differences and coming together for the kid(s). Do we have to be so full of anger, disgust, and revenge that we can’t get over shit and as you put it, be civil. It sounds like your “friend(s)” refuse to be civil and place their judgments first: act like I would or I won’t be your friend anymore. Those psuedo-friends are disgusting. People need to grow up and get away from handling relationships and society in a grade-school manner.

    As for your brother, he should be the most understanding (if I were to consider my brothers and myself in a similar position). You’re being civil for his daughter’s sake. As for your brother’s current wife, jealous much? When a lady/wife/any person tries to get between brothers she/he needs to take a step back and analyze what the shit they are doing and conclude that it’s not their place. I guess we know what kind of person she REALLY is: one who seeks to divide brothers, through jealousy and irrelevant/ridiculous battle lines.
    Philippe C. (aka reader #3)´s last blog ..Halloween! Zombies in Plain English! My ComLuv Profile

  • neverbesocial Says:

    Kapster,

    I must quote the Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi…

    “Only the Sith deal in absolutes”

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