Oct 24 2008

Watch Yourself, Son.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I have a few man-crushes.  One of my man-crushes is for Clint Eastwood.  I love all the old spaghetti westerns, the non-spaghetti westerns, and pretty much everything else he’s done.  Some of my all time fave’s are The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Hang ‘Em High, Unforgiven, and Dirty Harry–although if any his westerns are on I’ll watch them.  He has also directed some great, touching movies.  Last years Flags of Our Father’s and Letters From Iwo Jima were amazing, and some of his best, imo, work.  Now I’ll probably get around to seeing the Changeling even though I don’t like Jolie, but this December is the movie that I’m excited for.  It’s called Gran Torino, and it looks fucking wicked.  Check out the trailer below or if you really want to get the full experience check it out on Quicktime HD.


Sep 12 2008

Red Band Goodness

Here is the trailer for Kevin Smith’s new movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno.  Personally I’m a big fan of Kevin Smith.  I thought Clerks 2 was his best movie.  It seemed like he was able to turn a corner, in Clerks 2, as a writer/director.  He was able to blend the crude dialouge, he is known for, with a romantic sentimentality much better than in his previous movies.  It also didn’t hurt that Rosario Dawson is pure awesomeness.  Anyways here is the redband trailer for Zack and Miri.


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Jul 26 2008

The Dark Knight

Why so serious?

So I finally got around to seeing The Dark Knight the other day, and I’m not going to bore you with another cookie-cutter review.  Besides this movie is all over the news, and it’s making money hand over fist, so you have to be living under a rock, under another rock, to not know that this movie is great.  What I do want to talk about is how solid this movie was from top to bottom, and some of the themes that were weaved in that really impressed me.  You can take any movie that has come out this year–whether a dramatic, action, or otherwise–and The Dark Knight will match up to any of them.

This has to be one of the top comic book movies that has ever been made, and I think what surprised me the most was how deep the movie ended up being.  Comics have always been fairly deep, and have always been a form of social commentary.  As of late this has been translated into the movies better.  From here on out I’m going to talk about some of the specifics of the movie so if you haven’t seen it then don’t make the jump.

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Jul 13 2008

I Can’t Smile Without You

I went to go see Hellboy 2 today, and I got exactly what a expected, which is a great popcorn movie.  The visuals were great, the story was solid, and I enjoyed myself immensely.  I expected something good from Del Toro, and I expected him to show his skills, so my worries about him making The Hobbit would be assuaged.  Well I am now excited about what he may deliver in The Hobbit.  His creatures are awesome.  Every movie he makes, I end up walking away from just amazed at the ingenuity that goes into his creatures.

Without spoiling the movie for anyone, I will tell you to look out for the tooth fairies.  Despite the fact, that I don’t need anymore creepy crawlies to give me the heebie-jeebies at night, the tooth fairies were classic.  Of course I will probably be on the look out for them tonight, and I will never think of the tooth fairy in the same way again.  That is just one example of how masterful Del Toro is, his creatures are so good that they displace their predecessors.

Ok, so what works in the movie?  Like I have already explained the monsters work.  I have always liked how Hellboy looks–he doesn’t look as styrofoamy as the Thing from Fantastic Four–and he looks better in this movie.  The story works, it’s not overly complicated.  It’s a simple story that works within the mythology, and it creates tension with the characters.  The best part is Hellboy’s origin, and the back story for the Golden Army, are given to the audience quickly and efficiently within the first 10 minutes of the movie.

After that Del Toro dives into the action.  Hellboy, Liz, and Abe then embark on a pseudo-detective mission trying to figure out what is going on, and it works.  The action flows, and these scenes are much more action packed that the first movie.  Even the slow scenes are great–the scene where Abe and Hellboy get drunk is brilliant (they drink Tecate how cool is that?)–and they aren’t overly emo, but they just keep the story moving.  The movie is also really witty, and funny.  I found myself laughing quite a few times, and in a good way.  The dialogue was well written, and helped to keep the movie light, especially when it started to get dark or emotional, but the timing of the comedy was perfect, and didn’t take away from the action or emotions, but instead complimented it nicely.

I do believe that this is the last Hellboy movie, unfortunately.  Del Toro has said that beginning in 2009 he will be devoting himself to The Hobbit for the next 5 years.  Because of that, and the ending, I believe that this will be the last one.  It’s too bad–if that’s the case–because I want to see where Del Toro would have gone with the next one.  I’m not going to spoil the ending, but I will say that it’s a good ending, and it feels like a real ending and not a set-up for a sequel.  Also, I like how Del Toro resolved the conflicts that had arisen in the movie.

One last thing, when the credits rolled I was floored to learn that Danny Elfman had done the score for the film.  I am so used to hating his music, mostly because Tim Burton always has Elfman make music that sounds exactly like his previous work.  His score this time around sounded nothing like his previous scores, and it was a compliment to the movie, and not a distraction.  With that said I will tell you to see this movie.  It deserves to be seen in the movies, and I was glad to see that it was the #1 movie of the weekend; it pulled in over $35 million.  I hope it continues to make money because it is a well made movie, and movies with this amount of creativity deserve to be seen.  There is too much unoriginal trash being made in Hollywood these days, and it is good to see a movie that hits on all cylinders, and that has some originality in it.  Go see it and enjoy yourself.

Update 11:07

I forgot to mention this earlier, but I love Selma Blair.  She is great in this role, and doesn’t overact like Katie Holmes.  Have I mentioned that I am so happy that Katie Holmes won’t be in The Dark Knight.  She almost single-handedly ruined Batman Begins so it will be nice to see Batman without her goofy ass in it.


Jul 8 2008

A geeky summer

Last year was a terrible year for movies, and there wasn’t a whole lot to be excited about.  This summer is shaping up to be much better, considering that there have already been quite a few great movies like Hulk and Iron Man.  The next 6 weeks are looking to be a very geeky time for movie fans.  Personally, I’m excited.  This Friday, July 11,  Hellboy 2 will be released.  I’m looking forward to this movie for a few reasons.  First off, I enjoyed the first movie–although it took a little too long to get going–and now that he doesn’t have to worry about origin stories, we can just jump right into the action.  Secondly, I want to see how good this movie can be, because Del Toro is–if you don’t know–going to be directing the two Hobbit movies.  I love Del Toro’s style, and I think it will meld well with the LOTR’s imagery.  If he can really make this Hellboy movie his own, and really make into something great, then it will assuage some of my apprehension at him doing The Hobbit.  So this Friday I will be making my way to the multiplex to check it out:


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On the Friday after, July 18, comes the next movie that I am excited about which is The Dark Knight.  Everything about this movie is top-notch.  Check out the poster, which is one of the best posters I think I have ever seen (BTW thanks to PML friend Mag-10 for sending this my way).  Everyone is fawning over this movie, and you know that when movie critics–generally snobbish, fickle, and jealous crowd–start singing the praises of a comic book movie, well then, it’s really good.  I originally wasn’t sure about Heath Ledger as the Joker, but the more I see the more I am completely sold on him.    Even though I like the Tim Burton Batman and Nicholson’s Joker, I always thought that that vision of the Joker was too campy, and not dark enough.  I’ve talked to quite a few people who have said that they don’t care what Ledger does, that Jack Nicholson will always be the Joker.  I say shenanigans to that.  The thing that is great about the Joker is that he is a sadistic, demented criminal, that has a ton of fun being evil, and has absolutely no conscience.  So far there hasn’t been a Joker that has captured that darkness, but I am willing to bet that Ledger’s performance is going to shock a lot of people.  There is already Oscar buzz about Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker:


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Jul 2 2008

What a Dick

I really, really hate Dick Cheney, and have always found him to be particularly evil.  I found this story on The Onion, which sums up what most of us feel about Cheney–that he is not human at all:

WASHINGTON, DC—At a special Earth Day event Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney inhaled his first-ever breath of oxygen. “I am…proud to stand before you today and…breathe in the same gas used by…millions of Americans,” said a wheezing and gasping Cheney, whose body is accustomed to compounds of chlorine and sulfur dioxide. “One breath, however, is enough for me. I’m glad the stuff will be out of the atmosphere forever in a few decades.” Cheney then left the press conference to attend a cardiac health awareness dinner, where he feasted on human hearts.

I can’t tell you how happy I am going to be in six months when, hopefully, I won’t have to see Cheney’s or Bush’s mug on TV anymore.  Speaking of which, why the fuck is Oliver Stone making a movie on Bush?, haven’t we all had enough of that for the last eight years.  Who wants to shell out $11.00 to be reminded of their complete incompetence.  Oliver Stone needs to get with it, because he hasn’t made a good movie in a long time.

Update 7:28

Right on cue, The Onion, releases a new video on the Bush Administration, that although it is hilarious, the fact that is true is particularly sad.


Jun 30 2008

Have you seen Elvis lately?

I finally got around to seeing Michel Gondry’s latest movie Be Kind Rewind. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, since the trailer didn’t really get me excited, and I haven’t really liked anything that Mos Def has been in.  I don’t know why but he usually annoys me–he has a really annoying voice.  Michel Gondry, on the other hand, is a genius, so I figured I’d take a chance.  Personally, I found the movie to be hilarious.  Mos Def and Jack Black worked well together, and all the sweded movies were great.  Some of the highlights of the movie were Danny Glover’s line about his balls, Glover sweding one of his own films, and all the in camera, cheap effects.  I spent a good deal of the movie either laughing or being impressed at how they pulled off some of these scenes.  So if you haven’t seen it you should go check it out.  However, I wish they would have spent more time showing the sweded videos–I hope they fill the DVD version with all the missing scenes–and the end was a little emo, but regardless, it was an immensely enjoyable movie.  It also made me wish I had a camera so that I could swede some movies.  I think I’d start with Nacho Libre.  Check out the official movie website.  It’s pretty cool how they swede the internet.  There is a cornucopia sweded videos on YouTube, so I picked a few of the better ones.  Enjoy.

LOTR Part I


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LOTR Part II


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Back To The Future


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Jurassic Park


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Jun 29 2008

30-1=29

29, twenty-nine, twenty-fucking-nine, veinte y nueve, no matter how you spell it all out, the fact remains that there are 29 fucking empty beers cans here in my room.  So what you say.  Well I bought a 30 pack, and I expected to drink the whole damn thing, not just 29.  The problem is that one of my beautiful Coors Lights grew legs, and walked off.  It’s not in the box, it’s not in the sink, it’s not in the trash, it’s not in the kitchen–this almost sounds like some twisted Dr. Seuss story–it’s not anywhere.  I know my roommates didn’t drink it because they aren’t here, and they haven’t been here.  I, meanwhile, have searched high and low for the missing beer, and have had no luck.  This is just terrible, I was really looking forward to that last one.  Someone get a hold of Fred and Velma, and tell them to get in the Mystery Machine, and get over here, because there is a grand mystery that needs to be solved pronto.  The mystery of the disappearing beer.  It’s a good thing I still have my Puerto Rican rum.  By the way, Gladiator is a fantastic movie.


Jun 27 2008

Chronic Insomnia, III

I can hear it already 3?  Where are the first two in this your series about insomnia, and by the way, what’s with all the series’?  The first one is here and the second one is here, and I just happen to like series’ and numbering shit so deal with it.  Anyways back to the insomnia.  So I’m laying around in bed not sleeping and it’s early (or late if you like) as hell so I flip on the TV.  It must be Christian Slater love month, because another old classic–this time Kuffs–was about to start, so I figured what the hell I’m not sleeping I might as well be entertained.  I didn’t enjoy it this time around as much as I did when I was younger, or even as much as Pump Up the Volume or Gleaming the Cube.  I’m alright with the quirky Ferris Bueller-esque talking to the camera shtick, I just started to nit-pick at some of the plot details and police procedures.

It kind of bugged me when he broke into the laundromat without a warrant, I was like “hey none of that evidence will be admissible in court, and your totally trampling on their 4th Amendmant rights.”  Although I guess it doesn’t matter when the criminals would rather go down in a blaze of glory than have their day in court.  Uhhhg I know I’m such a dork, but I can’t help it, I guess I’m just getting old.  Of course I always have problems with Hollywood gun-play, because, well, they invariably are always wrong.  Now I know it looks cool when someone hits the clip release button on their gun, and the empty clip falls like a boulder to the bottom on the sea; but in all my years of shooting and changing clips on the fly, I have never, never, ever had a clip just fall out.  So that bugs me.  What really pissed me off, however, is that who the fuck is smart enough to steal, and smuggle $80 million worth of art, and then proceeds to have the final deal occur in broad daylight, in the middle of San Francisco, on top of a fucking car garage.  Really?  That’s the best you can come up with.  Fucking weak.  While I’m on the weak note, what’s with the pseudo-Beverley Hills Cop theme?  One of the redeeming factors of this movie though was it introduced me to Milla Jovovich.  There’s just something about her that’s great, I mean, besides the fact, that she gets naked in almost every movie (she is the reason why I watched all the Resident Evil movies).  So after I finished watching Kuffs, I looked around for Resident Evil or The Fifth Element, unfortunately neither were on, so I had to settle for some infomercials.


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Jun 25 2008

Neo-Nazis, the KKK, and Obama

Well apparantely they are rooting for him to win; surprised the hell out of me, that is until, I actually read why they were rooting for him:

“He will make things so bad for white people that hopefully they will finally realize how stupid they were for admiring these jigaboos all these years,” “Darthvader” wrote on the neo-Nazi Vanguard News Network web forum.

My first reaction is how does someone who likes Star Wars, and particularly Darth Vader, who is I remind you voiced by a black man, spew such trash.  It takes all sorts of people I guess.  My second reaction is where did jigaboos come from?  It’s kind of a cool word in the same way gobbledygook is.  The next nugget of goodness comes from our buddy David Duke:

“Obama will be a signal, a clear signal for millions of our people,” Duke wrote in an essay entitled “A Black Flag for White America” last week. “Obama is like that new big dark spot on your arm that finally sends you to the doctor for some real medicine. … Obama is the pain that let’s [sic] your body know that something is dreadfully wrong. Obama will let the American people know that there is a real cancer eating away at the heart of our country and Republican aspirin will not only not cure it, but only masks the pain and makes you think you don’t need radical surgery. … My bet is that whether Obama wins or loses in November, millions of European Americans will inevitably react with new awareness of their heritage and the need for them to defend and advance it.”

I actually like that visualization, except I think that George Bush has been the black mark for the last 8 years, but that’s just me.  Anyways it’s good to know that white America is still being oppressed by the man.  Wait, isn’t white America the man? so then they are oppressing themselves.  You have got to hand it to white folks they got you coming and going.  That’s why they are in charge, I mean who else could be calling the shots and simultaneously be crying foul?  No one that’s who.  Oh wait the Jews.  Yeh I forgot about them.  They are the only ones who are better at it then whites.  That’s why all the white supremacists hate the Jews, because they control the whole world.  Why does the sun rise?  Jews.  Why are there high gas prices?  Jews.  Why did my taco taste like crap?  Jews.  Other than the Jews, however, no one else has had the centuries of practice.  Regardless, I hope all you neo-Nazis, white supremacists, klansmen, and anyone else I left out, all make time to vote Obama, in between sucking each other off, of course.  Check the story here.