I really like Kurt Vonnegut and when he’s on he’s one of the best and funniest satirists. When he’s not on… well it gets to be tough to read. Slapstick is definitely one of those books where he pulls a Fonzy and jumps the shark. The novel is about a pair of twins (boy, girl) who are super geniuses but only when they are next to each other. They also have some weird maybe platonic maybe incestuous relationship. They also look like neanderthals and their family thinks they are retarded for the first 16 or so years of their life. The son ends up becoming the President of a declining US and ends up narrating the novel from a dilapidated Empire State Building in a mostly deserted New York City.
I found the novel weird, cumbersome, semi-boring, and not sharp or funny like some of his other novels. In the end the fact that it took me only a few hours to read made me stick through until the end. If it was a long novel I would’ve just moved on to something better. I found the introduction to be better than the actual novel so this book is definitely for Vonnegut über fans only.
Anyways I’m two books behind on my reviews, plus I have my new Blu-ray player to review and Star Wars Blu-ray. So stay tuned for a multitude of reviews plus my long developing post on religion.
Apparently, this is the thing to do now with the anniversary so close. So I will jump in and add my two-cents to the cacophony of 9/11 essays (two particularly good ones are Andrew Sullivan’s and Christopher Hitchens‘ love ‘em or hate ‘em they will make you think). However, in order to properly formulate 9/11 I have to go back a few more years to set the stage for where I was personally at that time. In 1999 I was working at a television studio, doing something that I thought I liked. I hoped that it would turn into something more. Well surprise, surprise things didn’t quite go as a I wanted. Being that I was young and dumb I only exacerbated the situation and proceeded to burn some of the first bridges in my young professional career. I didn’t give a fuck though. I was young and feeling cooped up and I badly needed a change–or so I told myself. So towards the end of 1999 I moved on to a construction supplies delivery job which I half-heartedly worked at (sometimes when I was tired I’d just pull over in a housing community and take a nap). When I got bored with that job I quit. Then my brother started talking about going into the Marine Corps. As he discussed it with me it planted the idea in my head which over the course of the next few months sat dormant in my head but just percolated subconsciously biding its time. About mid-2000 my brother was accepted to Naval flight school in Pensacola, Fl. A fairly difficult school to get into especially when your grades aren’t the best and you’re not a legacy kid. It was about that time that he decided he didn’t want to join up anymore. It was also about that time when I decided I did and I voiced my desire to my family.
I think it’s too harsh to say it was met with outright derision but there was a large amount of skepticism from my father and brother. I mean I was the less athletic brother, I was lazier, and avoided hard work like the plague. But their jokes just strengthened my resolve. I wanted to join not only to prove them wrong (and my ‘friends’ weren’t any more supportive, their mockery was even more infuriating) but because this burgeoning desire to serve my country. I’m not exactly sure where this all came from but I have my suspicions, and I think a large portion of this desire came from my reading list as an adolescent, which ran heavy on titles with Epic poems like Beowulf,The Illiad, The Odyssey and with a different kind of epic like The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. It was definitely a confluence of events though as all these ideas and feelings came together at the same time. Add to that the mockery from a lot of the people close to me and my resolution was set. If there is anything about me that’s true it’s that I a stubborn son of a b.
So I quit my job and went to work at UPS part-time and the rest of my time was spent running and working out. I quit drinking (seriously I’m not lying) and even though I didn’t eat a lot of junk food I quit eating the little that I did. My singular focus was to continue my regiment throughout the winter and go to boot camp in March. But alas, the best laid plans…, as it turned out I never made it to March. Instead, after some poking and prodding from my recruiter, and finally being given some more financial incentives I left at the end of January 2001.
I have some big changes coming up in my life over the next few months and I have been planning it all out trying to make sure that my transition from school to the job market goes as smoothly as possible in this crazy economic climate. However, things are quickly unraveling. Today, for example, was my big comprehensive final that I need to pass in order to graduate. Well I did a little research found out all the ins & outs and created a strategy. I decided to pick the three classes that went together–Colonial America 1600-1690, Colonial America 1690-1765, and American Revolution. I figured I would study for those three classes write one enormous essay split it into three parts and then BAM! I’d be pretty much done. Sounds like a good idea right? Nope total fail. You see even though they told me I would have a choice from all the classes I had taken they lied. They threw me a nasty 12-6 curve ball and gave me a partial list of classes. Once I read the questions and saw that my plan had gone awry my mind went blank and I stared at the computer blinking for the next 10 minutes. I then looked to see if any of my current classes were on there since they were still fresh in my mind–negative on that point too. (Funny thing was that the other person from the history department that took the test at the same time had all three of the questions that we had studied for plus questions from all his current classes.) In anguish I looked over the list of questions again and saw that there were two questions I had studied for and the rest I hadn’t. Most of the remaining questions were terrible and way too ambitious–on the teachers part–for me to answer cogently in an essay with the limited time I had. So I decided to answer the Civil War question even though I really don’t remember much from the class. Well to make a long story less long I somehow grinded out an essay (not very good ones mind you) for each question. Some of you may say well that’s your fault for not studying for all of your classes, but while that may be true, I had a good strategy and the thought of studying for 10 classes over the last 2 years didn’t sound very appealing or a productive use of my time. I figured better to know a few really well than all of them not very well at all. Oh well I’ll find out soon enough it I scraped by. So that was the first plan that went wrong.
My next plan was to spend this next week holed up in my hovel working on homework in an attempt to get ahead on my semesters workload–I have three research essays that I don’t have topics for never mind the books. Novel idea for me since I always procrastinate and end up slammed at the end of the semester and well that is starting to get really old. Besides along with my regular workload I have extra research work to do for teachers, I have to find a job, and a new place to live. So it would definitely be a good idea to take this break to get ahead on everything so I’m not living in a box in a few months. Well as luck would have it JetBlue was having some kind of blow out on tickets to Vegas. I found a round trip ticket for $225 (how crazy cheap is that?) and decided to take advantage of it. So there goes my plan of not procrastinating and putting my nose to the grindstone and getting some much needed work done. Now I guess I can look forward to a long stressful last couple months of this semester. I’m sure this will be an epic week in Vegas, and it’s a break that I do need, but keep your fingers crossed that it all works out and you don’t see me teaming up with a midget and dancing to Thriller in the subway.
Last night I finally got to see Jimmy Eat World live in concert. After all these years of being a fan of them, and constantly missing out on their shows, I finally made one. First off I will always be grateful to neverbesocial for introducing me to Jimmy Eat World back in those halcyon Phoenix days. (Actually I have to thank him for introducing me to quite a few of my favorite bands. He has been a sort of musical Gandalf guiding me through the perilous path of new music. Although I still can’t stand Mates of State or Portugal the Man, but hey whatever I can’t be expected to like everything he does.) Anyways I got to the show earlier than I did for The Black Keys a few weeks ago, but despite that, there was still a huge line–over a block long–by the time I got there. The people at Terminal 5, however, kept the line moving quickly and I was able to get inside before I froze completely to death.
Once inside I went back up to my spot on the third floor railing, grabbed an empanada, a couple beers, and got ready for the show. I can’t tell you how excited I was for this show. I have been looking forward to seeing JEW for a long time now and the fact that my first concert was going to be the Clarity tour only added to my exhilaration–as Clarity is one of my all-time favorite albums. So I suffered through the opening act–they actually were not that bad, but I just didn’t feel like waiting any longer to see JEW. A little bit after 9:00 JEW came out to the rousing cheers of the crowd and commenced to playing Clarity in it’s entirety–including Goodbye Sky Harbor. It was a fantastic show and they sounded great, and considering this was their first show on the tour, I expect that as the tour rolls on they will tighten up their sound even more. After they finished playing Clarity they left so they could take part in the obligatory encore–bands really need to stop doing that as it’s pretty contrived–and then they came back out and played some of their b-sides and then finished off the show with Work, Pain, The Middle, and Sweetness. The crowd went absolutely ape-shit for Sweetness and it really is the best song to finish the show to as everyone left completely pumped after that song. Well there is not really much more for me to say that the pics and videos can’t say on their own. So enjoy the pics and videos. (By the way Jimmy Eat World if you all are upset about me posting these pics and videos online just twitter me to take it down. No need to release the hounds.)
It only took me a year and a half but I finally made it to MoMA. I got there an hour and a half before closing time so it was a condensed visit, but it was worth the $12 entry fee. We were told to hit up Marlene Dumas: Measuring Your Own Grave special exhibit so we went to the 6th floor to check her out first–especially since we were told she was controversial. I have to say I really enjoyed her exhibit. To sum it up her work is dark and sexual. She likes painting bushy vagina’s, women spreading their ass cheeks, fucked up looking babies, death, and head shots. Some of my faves were a sequence of paintings she did with people being hung, a portrait she did of a snake, and a dead lady. Her exhibit ends on February 16 so if you are going to be in NY between now and then you should check it out.
Here is a video of her exhibit. If you don’t want to watch the whole thing here are some good spots to check out: crazy babies 1:40 and 5:10, weird pregnant lady 2:15, snake portrait 6:00, and pron shot 6:40. Unfortunately, they didn’t show the paintings of the hanging which for some odd reason were my favorites.
Yesterday turned out to be quite the adventure. It was supposed to be just an easy night out on the town watching The Black Keys. I left my apartment and after a long train ride and a long walk I made it to Terminal 5 at about 7:30. As I stood in line waiting to get frisked I pulled out all the crap in my pockets so the process would go quicker. Of course I get frisked by a beast of a women (how come it’s socially ok for a female to frisk a male but not vice-versa?) who decided to take some liberties with her frisking by grabbing my ass a few times. Wtf is up with shit like this happening to me (if you are new refer to this post here)?
Immediately after that weirdness I went to the bar and started crushing beers like my life depended on it. I milled around for a bit and then decided that since I had my camera on me I would stake out a good spot upstairs to watch the show. I ended up on the third floor railing with a good view of the stage, and bonus I was spitting distance from the bar. My plan was to get nice and loaded during the opening bands and then to slow down or quit drinking once the Keys came on stage. As usually plans went awry and I kept pounding all night long. (I really think it was the last four Sierra Nevadas that did me in.) This was the third time I have seen them live and as always the show was epic. (No show will ever be as good as the first time I saw them in Cali at Brick by Brick just because of the extraordinary lengths I went through to go to that show, and because of the amount of laws–military and civilian–that I broke just by going to it.) Since I took a bunch of pictures and videos of the show I will let them speak for the epicness of the show instead of babbling on and on.
After the show I hooked myself up with a new t-shirt and I got it for $10 instead of the usual $20. I think that was because I was incredibly drunk and the dude who was running the counter just wanted to get rid of me. Once I left Terminal 5 it took me forever to get home as I was chatting on the phone and ended up walking a few miles past my subway stop, then I fell asleep on the E-train (again), and it wasn’t until after 4 that I ended up stumbling home. All in all it was a good night with all the mandatory ingredients for a good night: live music, beer, stumbling around NYC, and falling asleep on the train. Anytime that happens it is definitely good night. Pictures and videos (sorry they are a bit wobbly, I blame the beer) after the fold, enjoy.
Once again one of my comments is going to be the headline contest over at Overheard in New York. If you didn’t win last time you should give it a go this time. Anyways here’s the quote:
Student #1: I don’t know why that bitch has such a big ego, she’s fucking ugly. Student #2: Yeah, I know, but she thinks she’s Paris Hilton or some shit. Student #1: She’s probably getting fucked by some loser.
There you have it funny stuff; now go on over to the contest page and give it your best shot. Contest ends on Thursday.
Once again we come to that time of year when there are a superfluous amount of pointless holidays. It seems like every religion has like 3 or 4 holidays and they are all mostly lame. Besides that, this is the time of year when people decide to be nice and generous for a few days or weeks out of the year. Personally I am of the opinion that this is the time of year to really gut out my assholeness, and not succumb to the pressure of being kind and generous. In all actuality it is easier to be an asshole at this time of year, because so many people are trying to be nice, for example:
“So dude are you excited for Christmas?”
“No? what am I five?”
“How can you not be excited for Christmas, it’s the most joyous time of year.”
After any stupid statement that is similar to the above you just reply with something like:
“Well I hate Christmas, because any meaning that it originally had is completely lost in our current society. Instead of a holiday that espouses thanks and goodwill to others it has degenerated into a holiday that is rife with selfishness. These desires of self have consumed…” Seriously just keep it going as long as possible, and watch their Christmas cheer turn into a major case of depression or they will just call you an asshole–either way you win. So what does any of this have to do with Evacuation Day, and what the fuck is evacuation day?
Like I stated above I’m not a big fan of these super commercialized holidays, but I’m a huge fan of the obscure and eclectic holidays of this country: Arbor Day, Flag Day, Constitution Day, and Groundhog’s Day (love the movie too). This year I am adding Evacuation day to my list of cool eclectic holidays in which to celebrate. So what is it? Well let me drop a little bit o’ history on you.
Gen'l Washington
In 1776 hostilities broke out between American colonists, and the British Empire. After the symbolic victories of Lexington and Concord the British dropped the hammer in New York, and over time sent the Continental Army into retreat. For the next seven years the British Army would occupy New York City (NY has the distinction of being the longest held American city). Over those seven years NYC was decimated by fire, and British need. All trees were cut down, and most other wood–fences, walls, etc–were used for fuel. The British also let the city fall into complete disrepair. On top of all of this NYC became the central holding area for American POW’s and it is estimated that over 10,000 American soldiers died while being held on the floating prisons on the East River. Continue reading
Well this is it the last game perhaps ever at Shea Stadium. This season has been a roller coaster of emotions and I have risen to tremendous heights and desolute lows with this team this year. However, it all comes down to the last game of the season, and the Mets have to do it, again, against the Marlins. Last year Glavine didn’t even make it out of the first inning, and hopefully this year they can pull it off, and with a little help from the Cubs, make it into the playoffs without having to play a one game playoff tomorrow. I’ve been watching the pre-game show for an hour and a half and it’s good to see all the old Mets at the stadium talking about Shea, and some of the old memories.
One moment they have been talking about a lot in Piazza’s homerun after 9/11. That moment was voted the #2 moment in the history of Shea Stadium (#1 was game 6 of the 1986 WS where the Mets won on the Buckner error). For me, however, that is my favorite memory. Only in retrospect do I realize how much my life was changed by 9/11 even though I was 3000 miles away. I was stuck on base when Camp Pendelton was put on high alert, and we were all ready to ship out at a moments notice. All of us were still reeling from what had happened. It seemed like, even in California, that the nation had come to a grinding halt, and everything that we thought we knew seemed foreign. Baseball helped to normalize everything again, and when the Mets were set to continue the season against the hated Braves, I was able to put the tragedy in the background for a bit, and ressurect my absolute hatred for the Braves. When the Mets came back with that dramatic Mike Piazza homer, it was pure elation, and just for a moment everything was forgotten. Anyways that’s probably my fondest Mets memory, because I was a bit too young to remember 1986, and because still 9/11 is one of the moments that has so dramatically effected the course of my life.
Update 1:21
Currently still in a rain delay, game time is now set to 2:00 PM EST.
Update 1:58
Here we go, games about to start. I really nervous about this game, and I’m even more worried about how Perez is going to pitch on 3 days rest–especially with CC pitching in Milwaukee. Hope for the best that’s all I can do.
Update 2:03
1-2-3 inning for Ollie, and with only 7 pitches to boot. Like Gary Cohen said “no 7-run inning this time.” Thank God.
Update 2:13
Nothing doing for the Metties that inning, but they did make Olsen work–25 pitches that inning.
Update 2:20
A brief scare when Ollie tried to grab Uggla’s ground ball. He stayed in but his control was terrible afterwards, but he managed to get through the inning. 23 pitches through 2, and no score in Milwaukee yet.
Update 2:31
1-2-3 inning for Olsen. The Cubs scored before the inning was over, however, and the Shea faithful gave a rousing cheer.
Sorry that the blogs have been few and far between lately, but my craptastic HP laptop has broken again. This is the third time in less than six months that it has broken. I hate HP now, and will never buy any product of theirs again, and I urge you all to do the same. Besides the computer breaking their techs on the phone are, more often than not, rude. Anyways I finally got this POS working, just in time to send it in to get fixed (what’s up with that shit, by the way, I live in NYC, and you’re telling me there is no where I can take it to get it fixed. That’s BS. I could understand if I lived in Wasilla, AK, but NYC there should be somewhere I could take it to get it fixed instead of this mail it in and wait a few weeks crap). What makes this even worse is that I’m in the middle of a very important semester, and am currently applying to schools for my PhD. so for the computer to go down now is just terrible. By the way if you’re reading this and you’re rich and you feel sorry for me feel free to donate money to me to get a new computer (just email me for the info). This is the way I feel about both my laptop and HP as an organization:
