I have finally returned from Houston and what a trip it was. The good part of the trip was that I got go to two ball games at Minute Maid Park and watch the Mets vs the Astros, I partied a lot, and I ate some great Texas BBQ and Mexican food. The bad part of the trip was that the Mets showed their ass and I had to listen to a bunch of hick-ass Texans taunt me repeatedly. Thank you very much Billy Wagner, you can now add another log to the fire of my burning hatred for you. The entirety of my trip was one big blur of drunkenness, and amazingly nothing crazy or out of the ordinary happened. I was kind of dissapointed, because I was hoping for some random encounter to happen that I could write about. Plus it had been awhile so I knew I was due for something weird to happen. Well lucky for you, my readers, I did have a crazy random encounter.
My original flight out of Houston was canceled because of Tropical Storm Eduardo so I ended up leaving a day later than I was supposed to. I got dropped off at Hobby airport around 8:30 and I was through security by 9:00. I still had over two hours left until my plane was scheduled to depart so I decided to grab some breakfast. The breakfast restaurant was called Pappas and it was decorated with the typical southwestern style decorations: horseshoes, saddles, western paintings, and other paraphernalia. It was also on the complete other side of the terminal from where I was supposed to be, but, like I said, I had plenty of time so I wasn’t worried. I walked over to the restaurant and got a table all the way in the back of the restaurant where I had my back to the wall. I already knew what I wanted so when the waitress came over I ordered the Trail Blazer–eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, and toast–and coffee. The waitress brought me my coffee, and I started to zone out on my coffee just looking down at it staring as the steam came rolling off of the coffee. I was really into this because I was tired and bored, but then I noticed someone approaching the table.
I didn’t think much of it because there were a ton of empty tables so I just figured they were going to sit at a table nearby. I kept watching the steam roll off of my coffee when the chair in front of me was pulled out, and someone asked “is anyone sitting here?” I glanced up slightly and saw a black woman pulling out the chair across from me. She had dark skin, a broad flat nose, she was kind of chunky, but without being fat, she had fucked up dyed red hair that was half-braided, but nevertheless looked trashy, and she had a few inches on me. Plus she had what looked like National Geographic flap-jack titties–which is never a good thing. However she was not a complete hag, she had some nice qualities, but she was definitely not the type of girl you bring home to mommy. She carried herself in a very skanky way. Anyways I told her no that no one was sitting there, and then my face looked visibly upset when she actually decided to sit down. I looked around and noticed that there were at least 50 other possible empty seats in the restaurant, and immediately I knew something was up. At first I thought that maybe she wanted a piece of my Harry Ballkowski, but I quickly changed my mind, and figured it was some sort of scam.
“So what are you up to?” she asked.
“Well,” I started to respond visibly perturbed, “I’m waiting for my food and then I’m going home.”
“Are you here by yourself,” she quizzed me.
“Yep, just me.”
“Sooo no wife or girlfriend here?”
“Yeh, like I said I’m here alone.” It was here that I changed my mind again and decided that this was some type of airport sex thing, but I started thinking it was a set-up, and that maybe she was a cop. She didn’t have the physique of a cop though, but you never know these days. They let just about anyone become a cop. It was also at this time that my breakfast came, and I noticed that I had completely lost my appetite. Regardless I started to pick at my eggs, pushing them around my plate, and once in awhile actually taking a bite. “Are you angry” she asked “because you look angry.”
“No not angry, that’s just how I always look.”
“Well you really look angry.”
“I can’t help it I have an angry face.”
“So you like to drink,” she abruptly changed the subject.
“Sure I do but it’s 9:00AM.”
“So that doesn’t matter. You want to start drinking?”
“Naw it’s a little early for me today, and I’m still recovering from a long week of drinking,” I stated.
“Do you mind if I drink?”
“Knock yourself out, you don’t need my permission.”