perpetual memory loss

VOTE!!

Hey all you people out there need to go vote tomorrow–especially you 18-30 year olds.  Every year you bitches cop out, get all lazy, and stay home.  Don’t be fags.  Get the fuck out and vote tomorrow.  Do you people realize how lucky we are that we don’t have to do shit to vote.  We are born with the right to vote.  All throughout history people have been fighting for the right to vote, and we live in a time where we get it as a birthright.  This is one of the most important things you can do, so don’t fuck it up.

Also you women out there are getting pretty lazy too.  I mean how can you get disenfranchised when you have only had suffrage for 88 years.  Not even a whole century and yet I hear about so many women who don’t vote, and aren’t even registered.  Seriously if you don’t vote then you have no reason to complain for the next 4 years.  One more thing if you’re voting for Nader do yourself a favor and tie a millstone to your next and jump into a large body of water.  If you’re voting for McCain the election has been moved to November 11.  To find a polling station near you go here.

Tina Fey once again channeled Sarah Palin last night and it turned out to be one of the only good skits on SNL. While hilarious it is sad and a bit cringe inducing that part of the skit just used the actual words of Palin. Palin is so terrible that she basically creates parodies of herself as she speaks. Hard to believe she is a real, honest to God VP Candidate. If she crashes and burns as most think she will in next weeks debate, then she is going to push women candidates a few gigantic steps back in the GOP. I hope it’s not true, but I have a feeling that she will become an excuse and a reason for the party elites not to pick more national level female candidates. Anyways here’s the video, enjoy.

Ok there has been a derth of funny quotes from Overheard In NY lately, but this week there were quite a few good ones.  Here are my favorites:

Crazy guy to suit: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
Suit: Get the fuck away from me before I stab you.

–D Train

Mother of four-year-old boy (looking at display case): Wait up for me, Jack. Don’t go on the escalator without me.
Four-year-old boy: It’s okay, I can do it.
Mother of four-year-old: No, Jack. Wait for me.
Four-year-old boy: It’s okay, mom. I can go up by myself.
Mother of four-year-old: Jack. Don’t go up without me.
Four-year-old boy: Mom. It’s okay. I can do it. I’m wearing my lucky Batman underwear.

–Macy’s

Lady in car at full parking lot to man in car: Damnit, where we gonna park?
Man, getting his keys: Don’t worry, I’m going to pull out.
Lady in car: Yeah, I’ve heard that before.

–W Broadway &Canal

(day after steam pipe break)
Cop without respiratory mask to cop wearing respiratory mask: Hey…take that off. If you’re going to catch anything, you already caught it.
Cop with mask (as he takes it off): Yeah, from your mom!

–Grand Central Terminal

Dude: So I finally saw Lisa’s* tits. Good stuff, man.
Friend: Yeah? Are they big?
Dude: Not at all. But it’s better that way. A handful is enough.
Friend: So it’s like nuts?
Dude: What the fuck?
Friend: No! I mean they say a handful of nuts is enough protein for the day! That came out totally wrong!
Dude: Whatever you say…Tinkerbell.

–67th & Columbus

And my absolute favorite one:

Female lawyer: Did you see that video where that girl from South Carolina was asked why Americans can’t read maps?
Male lawyer: Yeah, she was a teenage beauty contestant. I tell you, I’ve heard drunk girls with two dicks in their mouth make more sense than that bitch.
Female lawyer: Don’t call her a bitch. She was probably just nervous.
Male lawyer: Excuse me, she’s a beauty contestant. The only difference between a beauty contestant and an inflatable doll is where you blow into them.
Female lawyer: Excuse me, but I was in a few beauty contests when I was a teenager.
Male lawyer: Really? So tell me, why can’t Americans read maps?

–Supreme Court, Jamaica

Ok so I’m drunk, but I just randomly hooked up with this chica that told me I have an accent of a “super white boy.”  Well that is the first time someone has ever told me that before.  She acted like being a New Yorker was akin to being God’s gift to the Earth, and that I wasn’t a true New Yorker.  Funny that even though I wasn’t a “real New Yorker” she enjoyed the fruit of my looms haha.  Whatever I really don’t care I just find the hypocrisy he-fucking-larious.  She can pretend what she wants, but in truth she knows that she wanted the kilbasa, and if I was a bit sluttier I could’ve bent her over a stool and fucked the shit out of her–literally.

Here’s a couple of videos that make light of this whole Sarah Palin veep pick.  Personally I think this is akin to suicide for the McCain campaign, but who knows sometimes these long-shots pay off.  It’s just that I think her negatives far outweight any of her potential positives.  One of the worst parts about this picks, from McCain’s standpoint, is that it takes away his argument against Obama’s experience.  Her youth and inexperience combined with his age and proclivity for cancer make for one potentially devastating ticket.  If he died in his first year or two the effects would be catastrophic and would make the Bush Administration look like FDR’s.  If McCain wanted to pick a women I’m sure he could have found a more experienced candidate, but maybe he just has a penchant for the beauty queens–Cindy McCain better watch her back.  Also it is never good for your veep pick to be embroiled in scandal on the first day.   Besides now I am going to have to listen to commentary about how her kid has Downs Syndrome and that somehow qualifies her for the VP.  Lastly, she has almost no opinion on the important foreign policy issues of our day: nuclear proliferation, Iraq, terrorism, Russia etc.  Doing a search for her on LexisNexis and EBSCO brings up nothing.  The closest she has come:

Alaska Business Monthly: We’ve lost a lot of Alaska’s military members to the war in Iraq. How do you feel about sending more troops into battle, as President Bush is suggesting?

Palin: I’ve been so focused on state government, I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq. I heard on the news about the new deployments, and while I support our president, Condoleezza Rice and the administration, I want to know that we have an exit plan in place; I want assurances that we are doing all we can to keep our troops safe. Every life lost is such a tragedy. I am very, very proud of the troops we have in Alaska, those fighting overseas for our freedoms, and the families here who are making so many sacrifices.

Not exactly the deep thoughts I was hoping for out of a veep candidate, besides the fact that this is a blatant attempt to pander to women, and win their votes.  The only problem is that most of Hillary’s supporters won’t vote pro-life just out of spite.  I will re-iterate that is, in my opinion, political suicide, and that McCain’s campaign is effectively over.  Anyways enjoy the videos.

Update 3:25

Found a couple good commentaries on the Palin decision.  First is from Obsidian Wings, one from James Fallows of The Atlantic, and the other is from Sensico.

For those of you–like me–who missed this speech last night, here it is in full.  It is a good speech that hits on a lot of the key points that Obama needs to really cement over the next few days.  Namely their background, and how they have worked hard to get to where they are.  They are not elites, but instead are the poster children for the limitless possibilites that are available here in America.  I find it funny that the guy who is faithful to his wife and family, and worked extra hard to get where he is is called an elite.  While the guy who only got into the Naval Academy because of his name, cheated on and subsequently divorced his wife because she was disfigured, and can’t remember how many homes he owns is seen as the regular joe.   I’ll never get it.  Anyways here the speech.

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I found this blog today and I must say it is definitely one of the crazier blogs I have ever encounter.  It’s a blog of some anonymous 23 year old girl who is recounting her experience from pregnancy to abortion.  It’s a pretty dark subject to blog about, but it is fairly interesting and depressing at the same time.  Far be it from me to be judgemental, but I wonder how it is she got pregnant.  She doesn’t write about a boyfriend so it makes me think that maybe she is just a party girl that has been trolling the bars, and woke up one morning pregnant.  Or maybe she didn’t give him a hand in the decision making process.  Whatever side of the argument you fall on on the abortion issue it is compelling reading.  Mostly because it is not a blog about trying to make a decision between birth and pregnancy, that decision has already been made, and the fate of the fetus is sealed.  Anyways check it out here.

Me luv you long time.

The term red light district usual connotes a district or neighborhood where prostitution runs rampant.  The origin of the term is not completely agreed upon.  Some think that it is an old railroad term, while others claim other explainations.  Whatever the explanation it is pretty much certain that around the world the color red connotes prostitution, drugs, or both.  As I have traveled around the world, both on my own and in groups, I have had a lot of varied experiences.  Some have been recorded here, but most of them are known only to me and a few others.

If you know me in person or you have been reading about some of my random encounters on this site, then you probably know that I am a magnet for the weird and random.  I once had dinner with a drug dealer in the Czech Republic, been offered Heroin in Chicago, Hamburg, Scotland, and in Iraq.  I have also had discussions, and sometimes a few drinks, with prostitutes in Munich, Australia, Mexico, Singapore, and Hamburg.  These are just some of the experience I have had that have educated me about the seedier side of life, and have provided me with some great stories.  So what’s my point?  I’ll get to my point shortly, but I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what happens in the underground lifestyles of the world.  Dostoevsky spent tons of time hanging out with alcoholics, prostitutes, criminals, and addicts so that he could write about them with realistically.  You don’t have to partake in a lifestyle to know it, you just have to observe it learn the traits, and then when you see if you will know it.  My own varied experiences have led me to have many encounter with these shady characters, and because of that I trust my gut instincts.  I have, at times, had to navigate some precarious situations, in varied random foreign countries, without any help.  I have come through these situations mostly unscathed, and with plenty of experience and a total trust in my instincts.  Which brings me to my point.

When I was in Singapore the whorehouses were all in regular ass neighborhoods.  They looked just like any other house in the neighborhood except for one tiny detail.  At night when the front lights came on the house number instead of glowing white, glowed red.  Now I have lived in my neighborhood here for a year, and when I first moved in I noticed that one house in my neighborhood had red numbers out front.  It struck me as odd in this neighborhood, because of the high police presence and school security officials.  From day one I have had it in the back of my head that this house could be a whorehouse.  I have rarely if ever seen anyone ever coming in or out of the house (the few I have seen are women, and I believe Asian women, but it is usually dark), and the shades are always drawn closed.  The last few months, however, I have had more time on my hands, and I have been walking around the neighborhood a lot more late at night.  (Sometimes when I have been writing too long, and I am stuck and don’t know what to write next, I go outside for a walk to clear my head.)  I have been observing the house more and more and still the shades are drawn shut, and there is very little traffic coming in and out of the house.  I have also noticed lately that often there is a car that sits outside the house with the engine running, and last night I saw one Asian girl go up to the house and knock on the door.  She stood there for a bit and then from around the corner an NYPD van came rolling up–with three people inside of it–it stopped in front of the house, and they shined a spotlight on the girl.  She knocked frantically, and as soon as the door opened scurried inside.  The NYPD van rolled out, and the parked car in front of the house took off in the other direction.  So I’m thinking that the police are either finally wise to the house or have almost enough evidence to make some kind of bust.  I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.  If I am right then I think there will be some kind of drama going down in the neighborhood soon.  I’m going to keep taking my late night strolls to check out the hood, and I will keep you all posted if anything goes down.

I have finally returned from Houston and what a trip it was.  The good part of the trip was that I got go to two ball games at Minute Maid Park and watch the Mets vs the Astros, I partied a lot, and I ate some great Texas BBQ and Mexican food.  The bad part of the trip was that the Mets showed their ass and I had to listen to a bunch of hick-ass Texans taunt me repeatedly.  Thank you very much Billy Wagner, you can now add another log to the fire of my burning hatred for you.  The entirety of my trip was one big blur of drunkenness, and amazingly nothing crazy or out of the ordinary happened.  I was kind of dissapointed, because I was hoping for some random encounter to happen that I could write about.  Plus it had been awhile so I knew I was due for something weird to happen.  Well lucky for you, my readers, I did have a crazy random encounter.

My original flight out of Houston was canceled because of Tropical Storm Eduardo so I ended up leaving a day later than I was supposed to.  I got dropped off at Hobby airport around 8:30 and I was through security by 9:00.  I still had over two hours left until my plane was scheduled to depart so I decided to grab some breakfast.  The breakfast restaurant was called Pappas and it was decorated with the typical southwestern style decorations: horseshoes, saddles, western paintings, and other paraphernalia.  It was also on the complete other side of the terminal from where I was supposed to be, but, like I said, I had plenty of time so I wasn’t worried.  I walked over to the restaurant and got a table all the way in the back of the restaurant where I had my back to the wall.  I already knew what I wanted so when the waitress came over I ordered the Trail Blazer–eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, and toast–and coffee.  The waitress brought me my coffee, and I started to zone out on my coffee just looking down at it staring as the steam came rolling off of the coffee.  I was really into this because I was tired and bored, but then I noticed someone approaching the table.

I didn’t think much of it because there were a ton of empty tables so I just figured they were going to sit at a table nearby.  I kept watching the steam roll off of my coffee when the chair in front of me was pulled out, and someone asked “is anyone sitting here?”  I glanced up slightly and saw a black woman pulling out the chair across from me.  She had dark skin, a broad flat nose, she was kind of chunky, but without being fat, she had fucked up dyed red hair that was half-braided, but nevertheless looked trashy, and she had a few inches on me.  Plus she had what looked like National Geographic flap-jack titties–which is never a good thing.  However she was not a complete hag, she had some nice qualities, but she was definitely not the type of girl you bring home to mommy.  She carried herself in a very skanky way.  Anyways I told her no that no one was sitting there, and then my face looked visibly upset when she actually decided to sit down.  I looked around and noticed that there were at least 50 other possible empty seats in the restaurant, and immediately I knew something was up.  At first I thought that maybe she wanted a piece of my Harry Ballkowski, but I quickly changed my mind, and figured it was some sort of scam.

“So what are you up to?” she asked.

“Well,” I started to respond visibly perturbed, “I’m waiting for my food and then I’m going home.”

“Where’s home?”

“New York.”

“Are you here by yourself,” she quizzed me.

“Yep, just me.”

“Sooo no wife or girlfriend here?”

“Yeh, like I said I’m here alone.” It was here that I changed my mind again and decided that this was some type of airport sex thing, but I started thinking it was a set-up, and that maybe she was a cop.  She didn’t have the physique of a cop though, but you never know these days.  They let just about anyone become a cop.  It was also at this time that my breakfast came, and I noticed that I had completely lost my appetite.  Regardless I started to pick at my eggs, pushing them around my plate, and once in awhile actually taking a bite.  “Are you angry” she asked “because you look angry.”

“No not angry, that’s just how I always look.”

“Well you really look angry.”

“I can’t help it I have an angry face.”

“So you like to drink,” she abruptly changed the subject.

“Sure I do but it’s 9:00AM.”

“So that doesn’t matter.  You want to start drinking?”

“Naw it’s a little early for me today, and I’m still recovering from a long week of drinking,” I stated.

“Do you mind if I drink?”

“Knock yourself out, you don’t need my permission.”

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You know, I have always thought that librarians were shifty-eyed, troublemakers, especially the old ladies.  Why everytime I see one of them, I think to myself, there goes trouble.  It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one who thinks this way.  My good friend John McCain also knows that librarians are a meddlesome bunch of people, what with their books, and learning, what a bunch of crap.  I say we wire-tap all librarians, because they are all up to something. That’s why we need to vote McCain, that way we can continue to move away from following that goddamn piece of paper, the Constitution, and start recruiting people for the Gestapo.  The Bill of Rights is overrated anyways, am I right, or am I right!

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